A Demolition Man Taco Bell? This Must Be a Joke.
It's no joke, but Demolition Man fans may not get exactly what they expect from The Bell: A Taco Bell Hotel and Resort in Palm Springs.
After a thing that starts with a T and ends with a P became president of the United States, and society further mirrored the comedy and horror of Mike Judge’s Idiocracy, I did not think anything could shock me. Then Taco Bell announces its plans to open a hotel in Palm Springs. And with it, the Demolition Man Taco Bell future will be a reality.
Demolition Man Taco Bell Opening August 2019 In Palm Springs
Okay, to be honest, Taco Bell is not opening a Demolition Man-themed restaurant in Palm Springs at its soon to open hotel. But how can we not connect the opening of a Taco Bell hotel, The Bell, complete with a restaurant, to Demolition Man? Who did not laugh and cringe when Sandra Bullock’s Lenina Huxley told Sylvester Stallone’s John Spartan about the Franchise Wars and that Taco Bell won. And what was a fast food chain where sticky hot sauce residue could be found on tables and plastic chairs alongside grated cheese droppings, is now a fine dining restaurant – the finest in the city!
Welcome to the Demolition Man future, where Taco Bell creates a “tacoasis resort of food, fun and all things Taco Bell” in Palm Springs, according to the press release. There will be packet floaties, whatever that means, and the destination promises to be inspired by tacos. Even the guest rooms will have a Taco Bell twist. Does that mean beds shaped like Chalupas and instead of a fruit basket you receive a Cheesy Gordita Crunch on check-in with a Mexican Pizza available 24-hours-a-day thanks to room service?
I’d love to see a decked-out waiter arrive at the door with two Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos on a white linen tablecloth and expect a 20 percent tip for a whopping 75 cents.
Seriously. A Demolition Man Taco Bell Hotel and Restaurant Could Be Amazing.
The press release does not state, sadly, whether any Demolition Man themed touches will be in The Bell: A Taco Bell Hotel and Resort gift shop or anywhere else on the property. Even after the success of the Greystone event during Comic-Con in 2018, they clearly do not see the opportunity here to install seashells in all the bathrooms. Better yet would be the reaction from guests who desperately need said bathroom break after dinner (they are eating Taco Bell “food innovation” after all) who can’t figure out how to work the seashells, having to rely on the best curse words in their arsenal to get some paper.
Imagine the possibilities for Instagram stories and the like if a Demolition Man Taco Bell did exist out in the desert. Coachella would never be the same.
The Bell may not be an oasis for Demolition Man fans, but if you still want to stay there, register for updates now. And if enough people call and ask for the Simon Phoenix room or an Edgar Friendly underground club reservation, The Bell in Palm Springs may have to make adjustments.
Give the people a permanent Demolition Man Taco Bell already – the world is full of madness right now, at least this would be a fun diversion.
*Should you think this a joke and that Taco Bell is not opening a hotel in Palm Springs, I hope you are right. But it does appear to be true and happening. Next up: Ikea selling a couch with a built-in toilet.