Vampires, Werewolves, a Virgin, oh my. That is the basis of the film, nothing more, nothing less. There is only one way to describe the magnitude of just how horrible is the production of New Moon. As I sat, about an hour into the film, a strange feeling occurred in my stomach. At first I thought the movie was having an impact on me. As if suspense and empathy were somehow breaking through the monotony and lack of anything remotely climactic or engaging thus far. Then I realized it was not for good reason I felt this way but that the bile in my stomach was slowly churning, trying to expel itself onto the seat in front of me and the poor audience member seated there. Luckily I was able to contain myself and make it through to the end but it was difficult. How many others felt the same I am unsure but from gathering that the only positive reaction heard during the entire film was when Taylor Lautner (Jacob) removed his shirt for the first time to reveal his man candy I fear I was not alone in my reaction.

Physical reaction aside the movie is just plain pathetic really in its writing. Especially for its portrayal of Bella. She is a sad excuse for a woman on screen. Portrayed as a lovesick puppy who is so depressed over Edward leaving her - for her own good no less - that she mopes around sending emails that will never be responded to and using another boy she knows loves her merely to keep herself occupied. Not to mention her new penchant for daredevil stunts. All brought on by her hope that if she is hurt or threatened Edward will return and save her from danger. Get over it! He left. Move on you deplorable woman and get a life. Sure, we feel for you. It is not fun to get your heart broken and even worse by someone who cannot die for well, you cannot wish their death upon them, but really. You are eighteen years old and there is not enough in this story to even remotely make us believe yours is a love everlasting. Somewhere along the line the screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg should have realized she was not creating/adapting a female character worthy of being portrayed. She was instead feeding into the age old belief that a woman cannot survive without a man. Thank you Ms. Rosenberg, you just set women back about 70 years. The rest of the script is no better, and hardly worth any more time commenting on.

Yeah, the werewolves look pretty good. Couple glitches here and there but they work. There faces are actually very lifelike and possess a level of human emotion that took great detail and skill. Well done.

The soundtrack to this film, composed of original music and contemporary songs is pleasing to the ear. It would be much better if it was not played along with the film. So much of this movie is bombarded with music. It makes you think: why bother having good dialogue or character development when you can just play music over every action and hope it conveys something to the viewer. The music may be good but its not enough to save the movie or make it worth watching. If you want to hear it you can get it on .

The largest conundrum in this movie is how with the poor dialogue, detestable direction, and simply amateur (and I am being nice here) acting Kristen Stewart (Bella) and Robert Pattinson (Edward) still come across with a level of chemistry that is bewildering. Perhaps it is the way they both furrow their brows to display emotion; and not just one emotion but all of their emotions. Or maybe it is how she does sweetly melt into his arms at every embrace. It is unclear and I believe it always will be but these two do have something on screen that you cannot deny. Given the lack of time they spend together in this movie may just be its main downfall. A little more time with the two of them may have made it a tad less painful. As for Bella and Jacob they have absolutely zero chemistry. Not even his half-naked soft core teen porn portrayal can salvage the thought of seeing the two of them together. They are flat, from every angle.