A good suburban girl falls in love with the perfect man, who just happens to be an ex assassin for the CIA. Life is sublime in the suburban bubble until it turns deadly when Spencer's (Kutcher) past catches up with him. Too bad for the viewer on all fronts with this one because the movie has no redeeming qualities. Unless you count seeing Kutcher without his shirt on or Heigl walking around the house in a bra - for no apparent reason I may add. "Killers" is a mash up of action, comedy, and romance without ever deciding on what genre it actually belongs to or succeeding at delivering expectations from any of the three. It is rarely funny, the action is choreographed so slowly you feel like the characters have forgotten they are being shot at, chased after, or whatever else. In terms of romance, never once is a real connection formed between Jen (Heigl) and Spencer (Kutcher). They may as well be zombies or robots. Lest me not forget Tom Selleck as Jen's father, Mr. Komfeldt. The quintessential tough guy appears to be suffering from a terrible case of constipation. Perhaps he should join his on screen wife (Catherine O'Hara) in a cocktail to loosen himself up a bit since the only reason she exists in this film is to drink herself silly and portray the stereotypical suburban housewife agony. She may be on to something here because after watching this film all you will want to do is find something to numb the pain and erase the memory of the time spent watching a movie as terrible as "Killers".

It is all in the material. When the material is poor there is no hope. Such is the case with the small semblance of comedy in "Killers". Ashton Kutcher (Spencer) gives his best with what he is given but without a decent partner to play off of his efforts are wasted. Katherine Heigl (Jen) is the ultimate problem. She has absolutely no personality and with that absolutely zero ability at getting a laugh from the viewer. The funniest thing in the entire film is a scene featuring a man passed out on the couch snoring, with flatulence issues, wearing a pair of ill-fitting boxer shorts. The entire film is just one sad display of poorly written jokes, ill-timing, and complacent performances where everyone seems bored themselves on screen, just as the viewer is in the audience.